Do you remember that time that I told you a story about my lawn mower not working and I heroically wrestled it back from death's cruel grasp (and dude, my arms look so cut while I was doing it)? Yea, well this time, the next day, I was the cruel mistress raining down misfortune upon it - what a whacky turn of events, reader! This is why I can't have nice things.
Last Friday we (Adam) had some company at the house after I got home from work so I thought it would be an excellent time to start being a doer and do some stuff that required doing in regards to my leaf vacuum or "leafpocalypse" setup. Really, the last piece of the puzzle was that I needed to cut the mower deck boot to fit on, well, the mower deck (duh). In some startling turn of events, I cut it and got it properly mounted exactly as planned without any major problems. Surely I should have should have had some alarms of This is going way too easy, Mr. Guy going off in my head, but instead I felt smugly smug with myself and rode off back to the shed where the second half to this project was waiting for me.
I got the hose mounted up to the mower deck, the hose clamp all clamped down, and I was ready to go. I hooked up the trailer to the hitch point, and slowly crept forward mowing and sucking and mulching leaves for a solid 10 minutes. Amber can attest my next mistake: Grinning, bouncing, and other outward acts of joy and pride only a father (of a leaf vacuum project) can feel in his heart. That heart, ladies and gentleman, was about to be broken just like my mower. It was a young and foolish early-fall romance, if we're assigning labels here, it wasn't meant to be.
Needless to say the mower came to a slow crawl and refused to move forward or backward. The engine was still running, but it strained as it tried to move. "Well, shit" said the author of this blog. In my haste to mow/suck/mulch, I foolishly put the brake on, that I never use no less, and I had been riding around the yard for 10 minutes riding the brake. "Double shit" soon followed as well as feeling like an enormous dumb guy.
To make things as entertaining as possible for everyone who isn't me, I had to drag the tractor back to the shed with the four wheeler, stopping every 5 feet or so to adjust the steering wheel on the tractor to dodge the mine fields of trees and other solid objects. And when I say drag, I mean that word that I said I meant. The rear wheels were locked up even with the transmission disengaged it wouldn't budge. By the time I got it in the shed it was dark so feeling defeated, I packed it in for the evening.
Now that I have you on the edge of your seat Imma ruin it for you: The brake was just locked up, no catastrophic transmission failure that I was worried about. I've since disconnected the brake, as I've said, I never use it other than to try and ruin my life, and we were once again in business. I made a few passes in the back yard and booyah, leaf and grass all up ins:
Important life lesson: Never be happy or excited about any project you take on, because you already made a whole lot of mistakes that will come back to Wanye-Brady-Choke-a-Bitch you. With that in mind, this is a close approximation of my emotion level having my leaf cleanup infinitely easier this season:
Let's be honest, you only come here for my impeccable taste in animated .gifs anyway.
In other updates, I got the dishwasher project finished up last night and spent a lot of money on a new snowblower which will virtually guarantee that we don't get any snow this year. So either way, probably a good buy!
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